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do people even read this anymore?

Apr. 3rd, 2011 | 02:00 am

I'm so out of it tonight. I realized I have no friends. Not like "Let's hang out" friends. Not close friends. I have none. I know I'm married and have a kid now, but seriously... come on. I called my three closest friends and no answer... all day waiting, not even a call back. Not even a fucking text back. Eversince I lost my best friend, who I could really count on, I have no one. I don't even HAVE a best friend anymore. Maybe I don't need one. Maybe this is what life is. A ton of acquaintances, some ok friends and some friends... that's it. Maybe I'm just being overly emotional. But a beautiful Saturday morning/afternoon and I couldn't find ONE person to hang out with me. Idk, makes me feel like even more of a loser.

So, I was down about that already, then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror again, and hey, you're gross. ugh. I've tried to lose weight. I lost over 80lbs at one point, but when you work so hard, for over a year and you see yourself in the mirror and you still hate what you look like... idk, I think it's ok to give up on it. Who cares what other people see? I mean, this is me. It's what I think. It's what I want. I have no idea why I am writing this, maybe it'll make me feel better? oh well. w/e.

hurray for having this stupid headache too. going to take some headache meds and going to sleep.

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Everything is pretty much great right now.

Jul. 8th, 2007 | 05:58 pm
mood: happyhappy

Eversince I was hired at my new job, life has been pretty much great.

I was able to get engaged to the most amazing person ever. Yep, she is PERFECT for me. I joined a gym and I've lost (as of right now... goes to the scale...) 22.4 pounds, and really, I've just been happy again.

Back when I first met Jenny, I was really happy. And once my old job (Charlotte Magazine) moved to GA, things were just really tough.

But now life is being pretty good again, so hurray!

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I got the job! :D

Mar. 29th, 2007 | 05:30 pm
mood: rejuvenatedrejuvenated

I'm pretty much on cloud 9 because I just got my dream job! I mean, I looked outside and the sun was shining a little brighter... I saw some squirrels frolicking in the pasture... the birds were chirping a little prettier... it's just pretty much the perfect day.

Well, that was corny, but yeah, I got a great job and I couldn't be happier. My life is about to take the most wonderful turn.

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Wanting more from my work-life...

Mar. 27th, 2007 | 02:42 pm
mood: blahblah

I'm sitting at my job and I want to stab myself in the neck with a paper clip so I can go home.

My job sucks. Every aspect of it, I hate the drive in, the people, who are really sweet, are the most boring group of people I've ever been around. I hate dressing up everyday to sit in, basically, solitary confinement. The work itself can be done by a trained monkey. I'm hoping for a big change really soon.

I remember back in HS and even in college when the sky was the limit. But everyday I spend as an adult, I just see more and more that this is all life is. Overall my life is pretty cool. I have the best girlfriend, a nice house, a new car, great friends, a fun softball team, a psycho cat, a sweet puppy, all that american dream kinda stuff. But work totally brings me down.

I work in this horrid cube under these horrid flourescent lights. It's so boring. By the time I get off of work I just want to go home and sit there because I'm out of energy. I never understood how people who just sit at a desk could be tired after work, but I totally get it now. You really can have the life drained out of you.

I envy the people who love their jobs. I want to be one of those people who gets up in the morning and looks forward to it. I'm sure everyone has their days where they don't wanna go in, but man, I'm just tired of feeling like that everyday.

People just say to be happy I have a job and to remember what it felt like to not have a job for 10 months... I guess they are right. But at the same time, when I was trying to find a job, this is not at all what I had in mind.

I feel like I'm at a point in my life where it could be close to perfect, my work-life is just that last piece of the puzzle.

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Mar. 22nd, 2007 | 02:36 pm
mood: anxiousanxious

Is the toughest thing to do...

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Speeding Ticket

Mar. 14th, 2007 | 02:06 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Charlotte cops blow. I got a speeding ticket because, well, I was speeding. But, damn, there was no one around me and I was just trying to get to work. It's like, solve some real crime, damn.

That's all.

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Today I'm 26.

Jan. 23rd, 2007 | 08:00 am

I'm getting up there.

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1.2 Trillion Dollars

Jan. 17th, 2007 | 05:51 pm

They were talking about this on the Bubba show today. They read this article from the NY Times. So...

Which would you choose?

Option A:
• National Public Health Campaign for 10 years
- Heart Disease and/or Diabetes treatment for everyone's whose goes unmanaged
- Double Cancer Research
- Global Immunization Campaign

• Education and Poverty
- Free Preschool Education for all 3 & 4 year olds
- N.O. Reconstruction

• National Security
- Execute the plans that were recommended by the 9/11 committee.


Option B:
• Lose a war in Iraq.

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Jan. 9th, 2007 | 01:36 pm
location: Work
mood: annoyedannoyed
music: Howard Stern Show

"At Google you can do your laundry; drop off your dry cleaning; get an oil change, then have your car washed; work out in the gym; attend subsidized exercise classes; get a massage; study Mandarin, Japanese, Spanish, and French; and ask a personal concierge to arrange dinner reservations. Naturally you can get haircuts onsite. Want to buy a hybrid car? The company will give you $5,000 toward that environmentally friendly end. Care to refer a friend to work at Google? Google would like that too, and it’ll give you a $2,000 reward. Just have a new baby? Congratulations! Your employer will reimburse you for up to $500 in takeout food to ease your first four weeks at home. Looking to make new friends? Attend a weekly TGIF party, where there’s usually a band playing. Five onsite doctors are available to give you a checkup, free of charge."

That is just a little bit of it. I was reading the article and there is so much more.

Why can't my job be like that? Other than all of the lavish stuff, at the base of it, why can't ALL of these corporate offices be more like that? Google seems to understand that having happy employees is the best way to have a successful company. I can understand that most companies can't afford to have a rock wall or a swimming pool installed in the office... but they could still do little things to make work somewhere you're excited to go into. I've never really been "excited" to come in, other than my first day.

I wish my company would do more little things. I wish we could wear jeans. We never meet with the public, we never have visitors. I wish we could take out ALL of these fluorescent lights and put in some other kind of lighting. I wish we could get rid of all these cubicles. If I'm not busy, I should be able to take a 2 hour lunch or go home early and not have it taken out of my paycheck. If I'm not busy I should be able to play a game. It would be awesome to be able to sit at my desk and play Warcraft while waiting for some work to come in.

When I get my own department to control, the first thing I am going do is ask people what they want to be happy at work. Truly happy. My goal would be to get a group of people who loved coming in and loved being there. I would recognize the fact that people the people I hired were adults and would handle their responsiblities. So what if they spend a day playing a game all day and taking a 2 hour lunch. As long as they get their work done on time and at a high level what difference does it make. If someone was taking advantage of it and not getting their work done, then yeah, it's a problem. But if they are doing great work, who cares? In my eyes I look at the results. Sure people do good work right now, but I think by making them more comfortable and making work more enjoyable they would do GREAT work.

Now that I am no longer there I can really say I used to really love my last job before it got bought by Morris. I could sit on the internet and AIM all day and not get in trouble for it. I didn't mind coming in early or staying late because I didn't mind being there. I was comfortable. I had friends. Sure my boss would give me the evil eye if I stood around and talked to someone for a little too long, but it was all good because I would ALWAYS produce. You don't mind going the extra mile when you enjoy what you are doing.

Sorry for the rant. I really hope one day I can find another job where I can be happy.

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Bored at Work

Jan. 4th, 2007 | 04:14 pm
mood: boredbored
music: Howard Stern Show

Since my day at work usually consists or me sitting here not really doing anything, I listen to a lot of the talk shows on Sirius. I've always been a Howard fan and his show is amazing as always. I listen to a lot of the sports stations as well. Colin Cowherd is a great radio host. Does anyone listen to "The Bubba The Love Sponge" show? It's CRAZY! Is everyone in Tampa that insane? If so, maybe I should live there, it would be a lot of fun.

Anyway, anyone else not like their job? Well, I shouldn't say I don't like it, it's just so boring. I sit here and stare at the screen. Office jobs have the potential to be really great, but also they have the potential to be really boring. The fluorescent lights, the stale air, my little ass cubicle, it's ridiculous. Someone give me an idea of what I can do.

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